A Reflection on Lacrosse and Mental Health
This article isn’t going to be anything close to my typical fare. It’s about sports and mental health and the shit job we do helping out those who need help and certain individuals who don’t seek help for whatever reason when they need it. If that doesn’t sound like it’s for you, then come back next week when I go back to normal stats stuff.
Photo Credit: NLL
Ahead of week 13, I was staring at my pseudo-strength of schedule document to preview the next five weekends and seeing 40 National Lacrosse League games in 30 days. That’s 29.6% of the total games for the 2023-24 NLL season in 23.8% of the weekends.
It’s hard not to look at that gauntlet and start to shutdown. I was already worn down on this project. Scoring an average of eight games across two days for five weeks so this doesn’t affect my day job just sounds impossible, a task that’s going to affect personal stuff despite me actively trying to not let that happen this season.
It also got me thinking about part of why I created this site and my goals not only for it but for myself. As I stated in my article announcing this site, I want smarter lacrosse fans and more informed conversations about the sport we love. But a part I didn’t announce was I didn’t want this project to affect where I made my money (day job), personal relationships, or mental health.
Mental health is something I think about constantly since I have a history of having shit mentals. I haven’t gone an NLL season without being burnt out by the beginning of February; unforeseen health complications in December meant that burnout started earlier, about mid-January this season.
Working in sports is more than a grind — it’s chiseling diamonds with mud, being told with ever-increasing fervor to do more and work faster with wetter and wetter sediment, trying to make a scratch as your tool sifts from your hands. Working for the Swarm was like that; working for the Flash was like that; hell, working for myself is like that, and that’s with me setting parameters for myself so I wouldn’t end up toasted before March for once.
As mentioned earlier, those parameters didn’t work; I was drained by week 5 of the 2023-24 National Lacrosse League season. But I also readjusted expectations for myself to where if I was late on updating stats or didn’t upload an article that I wouldn’t beat myself up for it. Shit’s tough enough, and I don’t need to add to my stress anymore. Yeah, starting that email newsletter was a goal I wanted to achieve, but I have too much on my plate to add anything else, and it’s better to realize that and not let it bother me instead of adding more work.
That’s a luxury I can afford by being mostly independent. The only pressures I have (outside of what I do for Inside Lacrosse) come from me. There are plenty of people working at the front of and behind the scenes in the NLL that don’t have that luxury. Sure, they’re getting paid, but if there’s one thing I learned during my time with the Swarm, it’s that most people working in any capacity for an NLL team are probably underpaid and definitely stressed out beyond belief.
So while this started off about myself, this article is really more about those of you working in the NLL in some capacity — as front office personnel, players, coaches, equipment managers, social media managers, videographers, graphic designers, independent media, broadcasters, whatever — to make sure you’re taking care of yourselves and not letting everything ahead wear you down.
Every NLL season is a challenge, sometimes rewarding, sometimes not. Everyone is currently going through a slog of games — which isn’t a bad thing! Eight-game weekends should be the norm when this league eventually goes full-time, and hopefully resources are in place for personnel to manage that type of season better.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned after all these years involved with the NLL, it’s that no one is going to look out for your mental health except for you. Nobody knows what you’re going through as intimately as you do, and if you aren’t taking care of your mental well-being, then no one else will.
Most of us keep shit internalized — either we’re not wanting to complain, put our position at risk, seem weak, etc. Hell, maybe we were just raised to keep that to ourselves. Keeping it to ourselves doesn’t help, though, as bottling up too much eventually results in everything exploding and becoming a larger issue. While there’s plenty of emphasis on talking with someone — be it a psychiatrist or friend willing to listen — it doesn’t fix much if we’re not actively taking steps to safeguard our mental health and not putting all of our energy and attention in one basket.
Take care of yourselves. Don’t let the unrealistic pressures of the sports industry take over everything. Recognize when things are starting to go south and you need a breather. Enjoy activities and relationships outside of the NLL. Find people you trust that you can talk to about your endeavors. Be there for others that are struggling and willing to confide in you if you have the time and capacity to help them.
I really don’t have an optimistic message like “It gets better!” or “It’s not that bad!” or “You’re stronger than you think you are!” I’m a very negative self-deprecating person who wouldn’t tell anyone something I don’t believe is true. I also remember how my time with the Swarm ended, which to this day still colors my attitude towards a lot of what goes on in the NLL.
As for a solution for avoiding burnout and ensuring the work regarding the NLL you oversee maintains its highest level of quality, I definitely don’t have an answer for that. Don’t try and drink your way through it is about the best I got, followed by my earlier warning about taking care of yourself, not expecting someone else to fight that battle for you. I do believe there is value in all of us and taking care of our mental and physical health. That self-care ultimately elevates what we do, what we’re passionate about when we’re healthy.
The NLL is truly a special league because of the love and passion we all have for it. Personally, it’s the best sports league I’ve ever seen filled with incredibly talented people on and off the turf, and I’m fortunate to be a part of it, despite its many warts and what I do to my mentals every season. I’ve met a ton of incredible people, have had new enlightening experiences, and have seen some pretty damn good lacrosse.
That’s not half bad.
I made this meme on Halloween, stumbled upon it while cleaning up my phone photos, and felt it was too apropos for this article to not share.
Evil Dead Rising was a lot of fun, go watch it.